I Am Activated In My Silence: A Personal Reflection

I feel like I have the duty to have the conversation about being a Christian, a Black Woman, and choosing to be silent in a time where my Black brothers and sisters are being killed unjustly. My silence seems to say that I am “not for the culture,” or that I am being censored or silenced in this time.

Like my friend Andre Levrone Jr says, I’m not here to serve the culture, I’m here to serve The Kingdom [of God]. So my silence is not about reacting, in fact, my response is activated in the silence. I am not forced into my silence, no one has taken my voice from me. Instead, I am figuring out my voice for myself. I recognize my voice is powerful, and in order to use that power justly, I must first be silent.

Much like how darkness is the absence of light, silence is the absence of noise and it makes space for what you might have missed while you were speaking. There are plenty of Black people who have decided to stay quiet, or say very little, or get off social media completely. This does not mean they haven’t taken action in their day-to-day lives, it just means they aren’t broadcasting it.

For Kingdom Influencer and former Carolina Panther Andre Levrone Jr, silence is not about being silent to ignore, but about being silent to process, seek council, and pray for discernment.

In a candid conversation with Levrone, it became clear that silence is a form of activism and it is a powerful move in a noisy world.

“It takes no courage to say something when you know the masses will agree with you,” Andre Levrone told The Block. “But, it takes great courage to say things that you know to be truthful, to people who will greatly disagree with you.”

So, if your speaking out is rooted in making other people happy, is there really a need to speak out in the first place?

The thing about silence, is that it won’t last forever, it shouldn’t. At some point, we feel moved enough to speak out, we desire to share truth, or we’re performing. Action that comes before silence, without true understanding of the situation, is to be influenced by the masses—to work to please the people of this world. Action after silence, is to be solidified in your beliefs and be unwavering in your next step, with no concern about what the masses have say.

“I’m either going to believe the narrative of the world, or, I’m going to believe the Word of God. And every time, I choose Him.”

The layers have to be peeled back to find what your heart is truly saying. The core of who we are is often masked to protect ourselves, to hide our vulnerability and appear to be strong, sophisticated, and completely put together.

The situations of the world have put us in the statement olympics. Who can say the best thing at the best time and who will hear them because they’re the loudest? We seek this validation from our communities, hoping we will be accepted by them, rather than accepting ourselves, or for some being accepted in Christ. Therefore, with everything else going on, withdrawing to take an introspective look of your life is well within your scope of what you can control.

But, what can you actually accomplish in your silence? Here are three things we found to be true.

1. You can release it, all of it. You can toss out any fears, anxieties, pain, frustrations, and unbridled thoughts. You can be unapologetically yourself in this moment, so that you can transfer the unapologetic version of yourself to the world.

2. “You can write it all down, Levrone said. “Write down your response to the situations. Anything that is harsh or mean, gets a visceral response from you alone and one else. No one can take offense to your truth here, because it is just you, and God.”

3. You get to decide how you want to proceed. How do you want to make a difference in your life, your family’s lives or your community? In your silence, you define your next step with no judgement from anyone else. This way, when you make a choice, you know it’s the best thing for you, because the noise hasn’t interrupted your thought process.

There is power in our silence. It shakes the room when we speak ,after we have had the time to process fully. In our silence, we’ve gained understanding, found ways to cope with pain, shared secrets and had transparent conversation about how we feel. Our silence is not a weapon of mass destruction, it is a tool for unity, and peace in our hearts.

In the end—my silence is my stance, my actions are my monologue, and my heart posture is fixed on God.